Living Healthy Relationships

A personal how-to guide

Know yourself

• Explore your boundaries and needs.
• Consider how violence in your family history will affect your relationships.
• Be aware of self-esteem issues.

Love yourself before getting involved in a relationship.

• Value yourself and know yourself.
• Know that you are lovable and capable.
• Be responsible to yourself.

Take time to get to know your romantic interest.

• Find out how he/she treated their ex-partner.
• Watch how he/she reacts when frustrated or angry. Is violence a factor?
• Consider your partner's level of self-esteem.
• Know your partner's family background.

Express your feelings openly and truthfully.

• Communicate your needs with each other.
• Admit when you're wrong.

Maintain the freedom to be yourself.

• Recognize that one person cannot meet all your needs.
• Have your own ideas, interests, goals and friendships.
• Keep active in things you love to do.
• Spend time apart from each other.

Be respectful.

• Value each other as friends, lovers and individuals.
• Listen non-judgmentally; value the other's opinions.
• Respect and accept each other's decisions, choices and boundaries.

Be willing to trust and be trustworthy.

• Feel secure in your feelings for each other; avoid jealousy and possessiveness.
• Be reliable.
• Share mutual goals.

Negotiate with each other on areas of disagreement.

• Ensure equal power in the relationship.
• Accept change.
• Sometime agree to disagree.
• Work together to resolve conflict.

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